Por Luc Gajardo.
El uspkirt es una categoría del porno. Especificamente del porno de celebridades. Porque un vistazo a la mala y de cuevazo del sapo de una mina cualquiera no tiene mucho sentido. Pero existe también, si nos adentramos en el asian, que no es el caso.
En el porno de celebridades existen varias categorias y subdivisiones. La más famosa es la de videos prohibidos, los que a su vez se sub-subdivide en: incursiones en la pornografia antes de ser famosa, grabaciones caseras que el ex – en un acto solidario, o mariconada – regaló a la humanidad, echando a correr las imagenes para que el mutante deje de tener que echar a correr la imaginación y pueda derechamente echarse a correr la paja.
Otra de esas categorías es la que nos convoca, el Upskirt, que se podría traducir como ‘subida de falda’, aunque también puede ser ‘corrida de calzón’, y cuyas representantes más famosas son Britney y Paris Hilton. Esta última también ha incursionado en otras categorías.
Sigamos. Los desnudos artísticos no valen como Porno, ¿O sí? Podríamos incluir también el nipple slip, que no es más que aquel pezón coqueto y juguetón que se asoma. Y también existe la categoría cazabobos, esos links que prometen videos porno inexistentes de tu famosa favorita.
Hoy analizaremos los casos de Upskirts chilenos, subiéndonos al Trending Topic de la semana (Tanza) provocado por la foto donde a Constanza Varela se le ve la vagina de forma poco afortunada, en medio de un carrete, con inflamación y un tanto grotesca (parte del cuerpo de Tanza que, sin duda y desde la perspectiva correcta, debe ser una galaxia de amor, belleza, erotismo, y vida)
Pero no es la primera compatriota cuya intimidad queda al descubierto de esta forma. Analicemos los 4 casos más famosos, en orden de aparición:
2000: Cecilia Bolocco, o una forma íntima de conocer a la Miss Universo.
Quizás la primera vagina famosa y chilena que pudimos ver. Puntos a favor por ser pionera en el full shaved y que el accidente haya ocurrido en un escenario relativamente decente y no en un ‘evento discotequero’ que, dejémonos de hueás, es lo más flaite de la industria farándulera, perdonando la redundancia.
Bonus: el paparazzeo de la misma señora, pero hueveando en topless con un viejo cerdo, el que ahora se agarra a…
2003: Marlen Olivari y los pixeles.
En una salsoteca de Arica, Marlencita vivía una dura jornada laboral animando hasta altas horas de la noche. Ahí fue cuando le sacaron la famosa y polémica foto en la que se podía, con harta dificultad y altos grados de imaginación, distinguir la diferencia entre una pixelada pelusa con forma de chicle pegado y la todo terreno de Olivari.
2009: Pamela Diaz con la fiera al aire.
El karma es una perra vengativa. No había pasado mucho tiempo de que Pamela desclasificara las asquerosas y traumáticas fotos en pelota de Alejandra Álvarez, cuando en otro fino evento discothequero, pero esta vez en Punta Arenas, a Pam se le corrió el calzón de leopardo y dejó por unos segundos ver a la verdadera fiera.
2011 Tanza esta hinchada de atención.
Pichilému. Evento discothequero también. Dios. Entre surfistas, pescadores y gente de playa en general, el olor a caleta no es algo inusual, pero segúramente éste nunca fue tan potente y lleno de feromónas como el expelido ese día. Teoría personal: está inflado de atención.
Bonus track sin foto: Aline Blanc (protagonistas de la fama) de quien no manejo antecedentes pero me informan que también tuvo su momento Upskirt.
Me acordé de esos lindos tiempos en donde @guillescott y @luco redefinían la Zona a punta de post como éste.
Misma época en donde Scott ya ponía todas sus fichas en una joven Constanza Varela, co-protagonista, por aquel entonces, de CRZ Rebelde.
Aguante.
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ajajajja muy bueno, y la cara de idiota que ponen los tipos que sacan las fotos, lo he visto y merece una mención honrosa!
¿y que pasó con el famoso nipple shot?
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puta como buenos chilenos——–PACATOS este doble standard puta que aburre para que chucha tapan las imagenes
no sean flojos wn, esas fotos las encuentran en cualquier lado por la internerd, no culpen a Willi Sabor.
Saquen la censuraaa!!!
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