Marcelo Ibáñez presenta: Felipe Avello

Publicado por disorder.cl

Archivo: 1853 artículos

Por Marcelo Ibáñez 

“Si los leviatanes llegaran a procrear, entonces el mundo no podría interponérseles”
Rabi Shlomo Yitzjaki

Da lo mismo si se trata de una ex actriz noventera convertida en MILF gracias a las bondades del Yoga, o una jarcorita anoréxica de brazos tatuados y cara agujereada por los piercings. De un rockero cliché como todo rockero o un maldito hipster que sólo ve tele vía twitter: cuando se enteran que en un periodo de mi loca juventud compartí casa con Felipe Avello, la reacción siempre es la misma. Los ojos de sorpresa, la sonrisa incrédula, la ansiedad apenas disimulada que suplica por una revelación indiscreta. Por alguna historia que retrate la vida y obra de un ser fascinante como todo monstruo mítico. Que los haga sentir que ese Leviatán televisivo de siete cabezas llamado Felipe Avello es, verdaderamente, un ser surgido más allá del bien y el mal

A Felipe Avello lo conocí durante un periodo de cesantía. La época en que casi nadie lo consideraba divertido, mucho menos un genio. Uno de esos momentos que definen a los creativos, separándolos entre quienes logran salir de su ataúd laboral a punta de ensangrentados golpes de karate –y con la venganza escrita en medio del corazón-, de aquellos que terminan hundiéndose en la pantanosa marisma de la mediocridad propia o ajena.

A Avello lo acababan de echar de Mekano –donde con notas como “Miss paradero de micro” adelantó un fenómeno que hasta hoy alimenta a la tele: que la gente está dispuesta a todo para ser famosa- y acababa de entrar a TVN como notero del “Día a Día”, principal escenario de otra de sus inolvidables creaciones: Bryan Tulio. El vedetto que sacudió su paquete enfundado en una zunga fucsia sobre la humanidad de las -por entonces- aún sacrosantas celebridades televisivas, en medio de ese Jerusalén mediático llamado Teletón. La nota que terminó con ambos presos y cesantes. Otra vez.

Sólo uno de ellos regresaría a la tele.

Avello es el último de los mohicanos: ha sido expulsado de los cuatro principales canales de televisión abierta –TVN, Mega, CHV, C13- y siempre ha regresado a la pantalla sin jamás traicionarse a sí mismo.

Avello es un punk hecho comediante capaz de burlarse en la cara de su jefe, Sebastián Piñera, cuando este aún era candidato multimillonario y dueño de CHV. Lo hizo armado de una radio Kyoto y un jingle delirante (“Usted es millonario/ por eso nunca va a robar”) en medio de SQP. El mismo programa donde obligaban a Avello a abandonar el set durante las menciones comerciales, para evitar así que se burlara de los auspiciadores.

Otra muestra de su inequívoca punkicidad: Avello estrena su corona como Rey del Festival de Viña desnudándose en una piscina en horario familiar, cuando C13 aún respondía al Vaticano y no a Luksic. Nace el pececillo. En su discurso dedica lindas palabras a los ejecutivos del 13, de TVN y al Papa Benedicto XVI.

Fuera, otra vez.

Una última prueba: Machine. Avello -después del trabajo de pesas, los tatuajes, el fashion emergency y la fama- enfundado en una máscara sadomasoquista cita al Gran Lelo, el esclavo sexual de Pulp Fiction, bailando como un Zapallito Italiano salido del averno. “¡Baila, Machine, baila!” gritaban los púberes del público, mientras Machine se frotaba como un perro en celo sobre los sillones, la escenografía y los invitados, en programas como Canal y Conspiración Copano. Lo hacía gratis. Sólo por el placer de subvertir, supongo.

Como comediante Avello es un mindfucker. Un manipulador de primera. Un sicomago que retuerce la realidad hasta hacerla gemir de dolor y placer. Muestra de ello es el esperpéntico show circense que ha acumulado durante años. Un señor Corales demoniaco. Un domador de freaks que se lanzan bajo sus órdenes a los aros del fuego mediático. De Brian Tulio a la Pequeña Hillary Clinton. De Luis Pinto a la Tía de Avello. Del esmirriado periodista que llegó de Concepción con una maleta cargada de sueños, al comediante de físico trabajado y pitillos, capaz de incendiarse así mismo. Todos equilibrándose en la cuerda floja a metros de altura y sin red. Golems de una mente maestra, danzando bajo los chasquidos del látigo de la vanidad propia, la ignorancia sociocultural y la necesidad hereje.

Primera escena personal con Avello: carrete casero. Un amigo borracho lo webea a él y a Fabrizio Copano, quienes encerrados junto a sus respectivos “entourage” tienen una fiesta aparte. “Se creen la raja” les dice el ebrio. “Y son terrible de fomes”.

Mientras hablo con mi amigo para que se deje de dar jugo, un grito ensordecedor cruza la fiesta: es la voz de Avello gritando dos palabras. Solo dos palabras. El nombre y apellido de la ex que tenía pegado a mi amigo.

En un segundo el humillado borracho palidece. Se sume en dos minutos de silencio antes de abandonar la fiesta con su voluntad castrada entre las piernas. Entero violado. Mindfucked by Avello.


Una escena del show «Felipe Avello Presenta», que se puede ver todos los Jueves de Febrero en el Teatro Alcalá.

Segunda escena: Llego de la pega y me encuentro con Avello en el segundo piso de la casa compartida gritando detrás de un camarógrafo.

-“Eres un Adonis, eres estupendo. Mírenlo chicas, ustedes lo desean. Tóquenlo, es un dios griego”.

El Adonis está desnudo en la ducha. La misma ducha en la que me enjabono cada mañana. El Adonis es un conserje de 64 años, un viejo tímido y triste de piel tan flácida como su miserable dignidad. Las chicas: tres mujeres con exceso de maquillaje y tejido adiposo, que parecen salidas de algún cabaret rancio en un caracol de Bandera.

Las chicas enjabonan al viejo, el viejo se calienta, se sonroja y avergüenza. El viejo toma la toalla más cercana para cubrir su evidente erección. Una toalla con la cara de un tigre estampada, que me costó dos lucas en Estación Central. Mi toalla.

Corte.

El viejo bajo mis sábanas. Las tres minas bajo mis sábanas corriéndole mano a al viejo. Besándole los pechos colgantes, los labios resecos por el tiempo, el cuello de piel manchada, ajada por la inminencia de la muerte. Y Avello filmando todo. Recreando a la perfección la crueldad del simulacro. Manipulando la realidad como un Fellini que cambió su obsesión por las mujeres robustas, en favor de la vejez decrépita. De los ancianos de un asilo caminando como zombies al ritmo de Ozzy Osbourne. De viejas que se revuelcan por un parque ante la cámara, besando a Avello con visibles signos de excitación. Todas notas que aparecieron en los primeros tiempos de SQP.

El viejo contento. El viejo feliz. El viejo con esa felicidad de quienes no suelen ser felices. Con esa felicidad de quienes viven algo que nunca se atrevieron siquiera a soñar, por saberse incapaces de lograr lo inalcanzable. El viejo olvidando la cámara, el simulacro televisivo, creyendo realmente que es un Adonis. Un Hugh Hefner rodeado de conejitas, sumergido en su primer menage a trois.

Entonces Avello interrumpe la fantasía que construyó minuciosamente. Lo hace con la rapidez y frialdad de una katana que descabeza la farsa.

-Paren, paren, paren, grita Avello, alejando a las mujeres del viejo. “Se acabó el minuto de la felicidad” dice serio, poniéndole el micrófono al viejo en la cara.

Entonces dispara.

-¿Qué va a decir su señora cuando vea esto en la tele?, le pregunta Avello. Y algo se quiebra en el viejo.

Sólo puedo pensar en la palabra crueldad, como si la escena Fellini ahora la dirigiera Michael Haneke.  Sólo puedo sentir la confusión que provoca en uno, ver chocar lo fascinante y repulsivo.

Casi se puede oír el crack neuronal en la mirada confusa del anciano. En sus ojos nublados de viejo boxeador que se tambalea solitario antes de caer a la lona. El azote terrible de quien creyó estar volando, para darse cuenta a milímetros del piso que jamás voló. Que sólo estaba atrapado en un engaño. Que lo que creyó vuelo no era más que una caída libre y letal.

“Ehhh, ehhhh”, balbucea el viejo con la cara desencajada. “Mi señora va a tener que entender que así es la tele” dice encogiéndose de hombros, como si se tratara de un sketch de Plan Z. Pero esto es tan real como un simulacro cuyo protagonista ignora. La comedia penetrando analmente al drama en medio de un baile de máscaras. Y uno no sabe si reír o llorar.

Todo eso subyace en “Felipe Avello Presenta”, su debut “teatral”. Un divertimento procaz que cada fin de semana se replica a sí mismo a sala repleta en el Teatro Alcalá. Ahí está la crueldad dosificada, la danza entre lo grotesco y el desparpajo que avergüenza. El maestro de ceremonias que parado más allá del bien y el mal toma la realidad del cuello y la retuerce en simulacros, desnudos de toda rimbombancia. Como una canción destructiva y punk, interpretada en la decadencia de un cabaret alemán de la postguerra. En la fealdad de un galpón de latón periférico y santiaguino. Tocada en la vereda opuesta de todo lo que es bello y bueno en el mundo. Y quizás todo esto sea mucho decir.

La “obra” –o más bien la sucesión de eventos que parecen azarosos- me recordó a la “Broma Infinita” de Foster Wallace. No por el complejo tejido de historias que el escritor urde con maestría en sus más de 1.200 páginas, si no más bien, por la sensación de descubrirse manipulado. Víctima de un engaño. Como el viejo que creyó volar cuando caía.

En el libro hay una historia que cruza la trama: la policía investiga el tráfico de unos catridges que replican un loop infinito de imágenes. Imágenes tan hipnóticas que al verlas, la gente muere porque no puede apartar los ojos de la pantalla. Una metáfora de la industria del entretenimiento que consume las vidas de tantos, manteniéndolos sentados en el sofá –en la butaca, pegados a la reja del concierto- para convertirlos en pasivos testigos de vidas prestadas, en lugar de protagonistas de sus propias historias. Hasta que te das cuenta que el libro está construido para convertirse en eso mismo: otro catridge que te mantiene pegado. Que Wallace tejió todo, para convertirte en la víctima de su propia “broma infinita”.

Algo así hace Avello en la “obra”. Se mofa de la comedia y los nuevos comediantes chilenos, de él mismo –que jamás llegará a presentarse en los Casinos Enjoy- y de la “genialidad” de quien se supone “genio”: en la función que vi ese “papel” fue interpretado por Fabrizio Copano, quien no hizo más que cantar canciones con Dina Gómez (como si el público hubiese pagado para ver su kararocker personal). Pero por sobre todo, Avello se mofa del público. Un público que ríe sinceramente, soportando a ratos momentos insufribles, víctimas de su fanatismo de hardcore fans. Pero quizás todo esto sea mucho decir.  O tal vez no. Lo que sí sé es que Avello estira el elástico buscando que se rompa. Y cuando lo hace, este sale disparado a la cara de su público. Lo mejor es que pagan seis lucas para recibir el latigazo. ¿Hay algo más punk que eso? La broma infinita de Avello.

«Felipe Avello Presenta» se puede ver todos los Jueves de Febrero en el Teatro Alcalá.

Comentarios publicados en "Marcelo Ibáñez presenta: Felipe Avello"

¡Deja el tuyo!
  • macunzia

    Miles de pajas seudointelectuales para una anécdota de mierda. Se nota que el gracioso de la casa no era el que redactó esta columna

  • patogeno gutierrez

    Creo que para caracterizar las vivencias con Avello, el humor de Avello y el habitus de Avello, no era necesario recurrir hasta el hartazgo a la figura literaria ni al esnobismo de nombrar a weones super cool y transgresores.
    Y creo, además, que lo de Avello no tiene mucha explicación. Darle una connotación casi metafísica al afán «artistico y transgresor» de un weón que está loco (igual, en wena), es una exageración.
    El problema es que se está tornando repetitivo el estilo de este tipo de entradas en Disorder. Mucho ípster tras los teclados.

  • oscar

    apestoso cuando ejemplifican con libros para explicar algo. Y peor cuando después hacen un resumen del libro con el que tratan de explicar lo que quieren ejemplificar. (me puse como el wn que escribió la huea)
    una mierda. viva Avello.

  • F

    Pateticamente pseudo intelectual. Una chupada de pico de aquellas.
    Parece que el autor recibio tambien el cariño de Avello. Por que no me entiendo como puede haber una chupada de pico hasta los cocos como esta columna. Un asco.Ah y hubiera sido mucho mas divertida y con calidad si hubieras dejado esa mierda de persona que se cree inteligente y no le ha ganado a nadie. Pelotudo.

  • juan carlos velasquez rojas

    Yo creo que Avello sí le ha ganado a muchos,como tú y como yo,que vamos día tras día a nuestros mugrientos trabajos por 2 chauchas a soportar a una tropa de hueones con los que jamas compartiriamos si no fuera porque hay que parar la olla.Sin duda Avello te ganó a tí y a mí.

  • Garett

    Excelente Articulo, y estoy totalmente de acuerdo con el, Avello es un transgresor, un adelantado a esta época, ( o a este país)
    Y en cuanto a la opinión del amigo macunzia: hay que revisar minuciosamente los múltiples sketchs, historias y esbirros creados por avello para descubrir la genialidad de este tipo, todo tiene un doble sentido, uno dificil de descubrir, criticas contra la sociedad etc. (Parece una locura pero hagan la prueba)

  • pinchenacofresita

    Recuerdo un Viva el Lunes..o algo asi..donde parejas televisivas recorrian la calle siguiendo pistas para ganar un premio…Avello hizo pareja con Patricia Maldonado, reclutó-raptó un niño que encontró en la calle..le prometió una bicicleta, despues lo dejó tirado en la entrada..al final le regalaron la bicicleta…manipuló todo el show espontáneamente y lo centró en la historia del niño…un genio

  • Rabi Shlomo Yitzjaki

    Saquen mi cita al principio del artículo por favor

  • cacademapache

    Que caca más grande de columna. Le pagan por hacer eso?

  • Gabriel Labraña

    A mi me gustó.

  • Andrés

    Gran artículo. ¿Hay links de algunas de estas apariciones en la tele? Me interesaría ver a Bryan Tulio en la Teletón y a Avello con la radio Kioto.

  • Javier Campos

    Es raro ver como en este magazine de un momento a otro todos escriben como Gumucio. Por lo mismo estoy de acuerdo con lo comentando por patogeno gutierrez, abusaron de las figuras literarias para contar algo muy simple.
    Lo digo porque algunas partes me recordaron a las reviews de musica que tienen en disorder, sobre todo la de sonic youth, la de maquinaria y también la de Taking back. Es un estilo bastante parecido de contar las cosas… «yendose en la volada», abusando de la historia en primera persona (algo obsoleto actualmente), abusando de los vinculos con otros temas de moda (se nombra a foster wallace), incluso mostrando algo de romanticismo (lo que pasaron en el departamento) bastante molesto y muy mal elaborado.
    En realidad el estilo que usan en disorder no está del todo mal (me gusta cuando comentan conciertos en extenso, como el de kyuss), salvo que esta estuvieron preocupados de un personaje televisivo y el redactor ,y no en una banda y el redactor, falto explotar el recurso, en realidad me gustan más las crónicas de antaño. Espero que se tomens esto como algo positivo, o sea, no estaría gastado cinco minutos en comentarselo si no me hubiese llamado la atención. Y un grande, Avello.

  • Le acaban de dar una chupada de pico fenomenal al Avello ese.

  • Seppo

    mmm… a lo revista día domingo del mercurio.. paja

  • que grande que es avello. pero que grande es marcelo ibañez. larga vida a la zona (?)

  • cristian sanchez o.

    me gustó la columna. me gusta la definicion de punk cómico. aunque me hubiese gustado resaltar lo mas llamativo : lo k mas agrada a avello es el chiste/burla online, en vivo, a quien sea, fruto de la improvisacion inteligente. y se agradece, k no claudique en ello, aunque lo echen de la Tv, (lo seguimos en Tierra2) ya que me he reido muchísimo con su forma de humor.

  • José Ramón Infante

    Este tipo de resportajes es de lo que siempre ha sufrido esta web, escribir sobre cosas interesantes pero de una manera tan elevada que pierde el foco y lo hace un reportaje sin sentido.
    Dedo para abajo para quien lo escribió.

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